Its happened again, another of my friends has passed away. Angela's passing was a tragic accident no one could have expected. Two friends in a matter or 8 days is too much. I think we forget that life is fleeting and we only have a certain number of wake ups in our lives. When we forget this fact life reminds us in cruel and unexpected ways. I didn't need the reminder I can assure you but never the less I got a wake up call if you will. A message from a friend to call him about something as soon as I get the message, left in a tone of voice that lets me know its serious and its not a casual call. I did like everyone else most likely and braced myself for bad news all the while thinking if not hoping it was not really that serious. It was about as serious as one can get in this world. It was real for sure but somehow I couldn't wrap my head around the news. What? That's crazy! Who? Oh my god! Oh my god. That's all the lady heard as she passed me on the side walk while she walked her stupidly small dog past my conversation. I get no cell reception in my home so I have to go outside to converse with the world. My neighbors get to hear everything from how my grandpa is doing, to my ass kissing eternal hunt for a proper job, to me getting tragic news of a friend missing and another friend in pure agony over the loss. Too much for such a small amount of time. I feel numb as it hasn't really sunken in yet. It has intellectually. I know I will never see my sweet friend again. I know she will not flash that smile that scrunches up her nose again.
I can imagine how the families feel, I've been there and feel so terrible for their loss. Its something you can't fathom unless you have gone through it. People give sympathies and prayers and the positive thoughts which is very nice but effectively useless when you're inside your own head rolling through numbness, erratic emotions, and memories faster that you can process them. It hurts and doesn't go away for a long time. It sneaks up on you during the most innocent of times. It could be a song playing on the radio or a movie or a smell sometimes nothing at all that sends you from your melodic everyday droning to the pain of loss and ache of missing. Its not a fair fight that's for sure. They will both be missed as both were really great people that deserved the best in life. I guess not really knowing what awaits us after passing, maybe they did get the best in life and are enjoying the fruits of their lives. I don't know. Nobody does but its all we can hope for to put our minds and souls at easy between sporadic moments pain.
Angela I miss you. You are still a sweet caring friendly soul in death as you were in life.
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